The
Church has to [minister to people in irregular family situations] with the
tenderness of a mother and the clarity of a teacher (cf. Eph 4,15), in fidelity
to the merciful kenosi of Christ. The truth is incarnated in human fragility
not to condemn it, but to cure it.
This passage from the midterm report of
the Extraordinary Synod of Bishops on the Family didn’t receive much press, but
it deserves our careful attention. In my last post I quoted Pope Francis’
reprimands to the extremes of both sides: those who have the clarity of a
teacher but not the tenderness of a mother (what he deemed “so-called ‘traditionalists’”),
and those with the tenderness of a mother but not the clarity of a teacher (what
he deemed “so-called ‘progressives and liberals’”). Jesus displayed both
qualities in abundance; two examples from the Gospel of John highlight Jesus’
approach to those in “irregular family situations.”
In John 8:4 an angry mob brings a woman
to Jesus and says: “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of
committing adultery.”(It’s interesting that the question “Who caught her in the
very act? Who was watching?” is not asked!) They are eager to stone her, and
ask Jesus for his opinion, hoping to trap him. We know Jesus’ famous response:
“Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at
her.” (John 8:7) After the crowd leaves we read this exchange between Jesus and
the woman:
“Woman, where are they? Has no one
condemned you?”
She replied, “No one, sir.”
Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn
you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”
(John 8:10-11)
What is often overlooked by those with
the tenderness of a mother but not the clarity of a teacher is that twice in
this story Jesus agrees with the mob that this woman has sinned. (“Let the one
among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” implies that
she has indeed sinned. Jesus is saying “Yes, you’re right, she has sinned--but
so have all of you!”) When Jesus says to the woman “Go, and from now on do not
sin anymore” it is clear he does not condone her irregular situation, for he considers
it sin. Rather, he orders her to stop living the way she has been. This order
is not one of condemnation; it expresses love for this woman who has fallen
short of how God intends for her to live, and Jesus’ desire that she leave her
sinful lifestyle behind.
Another example is Jesus’ meeting with
the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4. She comes to the well at noon, the
hottest hour of the day and the most uncomfortable time to perform that task,
because she expects no one to be there. She is an outcast in her town, and she
does not want to face her tormentors.
But it is there, in
the midst of her shame and alienation, that she encounters Jesus. He seeks her
out in her place of loneliness, where she never expected to meet anyone.
Like the adulterous
woman in John 8, this woman is in an “irregular situation,” having had five
husbands and now living with a man who is not her husband. Jesus does not
condone this, he does not tell her it is okay to be living like this. Rather,
he points out the irregularity in her lifestyle with such love and compassion
that it touches her in a way no preaching ever could.
Read that story
carefully. Prior to Jesus’ showing that he knows all about her situation, the
woman’s end of the conversation remains on a superficial, earthly plane. Once
Jesus touches the depths of her heart, revealing not what is good and holy but
exposing what is weak, she is suddenly able to break through and can now
discuss spiritual things.
This is what happens
to all of us when we can acknowledge our weakness to Jesus—walls come down,
true healing can take place, and the relationship can now be deepened. This is
how we must conduct ourselves as members of the Body of Christ with people in such
delicate situations.
The preparatory document for the Synod,
based on responses to a survey of the world’s episcopal conferences, made this profound
point:
Some episcopal conferences argue that the reason for much
resistance to the Church’s teaching on moral issues related to the family is a
want of an authentic Christian experience, namely, an encounter with Christ on
a personal and communal level, for which no doctrinal presentation, no matter
how accurate, can substitute. In this regard, some responses point to the
insufficiency of pastoral activity which is concerned only with dispensing the
sacraments without a truly engaging Christian experience.
In other words, we can preach
doctrine until we’re blue in the face, but unless someone’s heart has been
touched by a true encounter with Christ, even the best doctrinal presentation
won’t take root. Touching hearts is a key first step of evangelization, without
which none of the other steps can follow.
In subsequent posts we’ll continue to
explore the important points made by the Extraordinary Synod on the Family.
